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Improving Happiness
By Rich Bayer, Ph.D.
Happiness. How elusive it can seem yet how we prize
it.
Ask anyone if they’d like to be happier and most
will tell you yes. But how much can we change our level of happiness? And
how important is it?
In my last column, I discussed the benefits of
happiness. I noted how happiness improves our social relationships, our
health, our outlook, and our creativity. Clearly it makes sense to improve
our happiness as much as we can.
And the good news is that we can become happier.
It’s within our power to change our overall level of happiness.
According to the research, we can make only a moderate improvement, but
it’s worth going for.
Dr. Martin Seligman, in his book Authentic Happiness, reveals that each of us has an average level of
happiness, which is set by our genetics. This can be called our set point.
On a scale of happiness that ranges from 1 to 7, one person’s set point
may be a 2 while another’s might be a 6. The first person is generally
not very happy while the second one generally is. In studies among adults,
the average set point is 4 ½.
But that’s not all there is to it. Seligman says
our genetics accounts for about 50% of our mood at any given time.
Two Other Factors
There are two other key factors to take into account.
The first pertains to the circumstances of our life and the second to our
cognitive perception of our life's events.
The circumstances refer to what happens to us. These
are the events in our life over which we have little or no control. Maybe
we just got a raise in pay or maybe we lost our job. Maybe we found the
house of our dreams or maybe we just got evicted from the one we’re in.
When something good, or bad, happens in our lives,
our mood changes for a while. But, studies show, we tend to return to our
set point. Here are some examples of what happens when we experience an
extreme change…
When people win the lottery, they’re happier for
two to three months, but then they return to their set point, their
average level of happiness before the big win. Conversely, when something
sad happens such as losing a loved one, people remain sadder than normal
for two to three months, and then they return to their set point. (For
those whose sadness persists for more than four months, that’s a sign of
a deeper depression for which I recommend therapy.)
Some controllable circumstances of our life that can
improve our happiness include being married, living an active social life,
and being religious. All are correlated with greater happiness. On the
other hand, climate and education (how much schooling we’ve had) do not
correlate with greater happiness. Even personal wealth, physical
attractiveness, and objective ratings of physical health do not correlate
with greater happiness.
What We Can Change
The second factor, our cognitive perception, is the
area over which we can have the greatest influence. This includes our view
of the world and what’s happening around us.
You can improve your happiness by adopting a more
rational, non-negative approach to life in three different areas:
- Relating
to the past – People who experience satisfaction, contentment, and
fulfillment concerning events in their past are happiest. Dwelling on
negative events from the past interferes with happiness and may bring
about sadness or anger. Conversely, recalling positive events from the
past boosts happiness. Helpful hints: By feeling gratitude or
thankfulness for past events, you can strengthen your positive
memories. By using forgiveness, of yourself or others, you can help to
reverse your negative recollections.
- Relating
to the future – Studies show that those who view the world with
greater optimism, hope, and faith experience greater happiness. You
develop an optimistic outlook when you explain the future in a
positive way. Through hope, you show a specific type of optimism that
finds universal causes for positive events in the future. Through
faith, you harbor the feeling that things will turn out okay. Helpful
hint: You can boost optimism by recognizing any pessimistic thought,
challenging it, and arguing against it.
- Relating
to the present – The happiest people experience greater joy and calm
in the present moment, and feel as if they’re “in the flow.”
Helpful hints: It’s all about boosting your pleasures and
gratifications, and savoring them. Your pleasures are sensory and
emotional. They require little if any thinking, are usually of short
duration, and have a comparably short effect on happiness. Also, the
more you repeat the pleasurable experience over a short period of
time, the less pleasure and happiness it brings. The pleasures include
bodily sensations that come through taste, smell, and touch, as well
as seeing and hearing. Your gratifications come from particular
activities you like to do. These are longer lived and include such
activities as rock climbing, a good conversation, dancing, or spending
time working on your favorite hobby.
Try making some of these changes and see how much you
can improve your happiness. In addition, you may want to read the book, Authentic
Happiness, for an even greater understanding.
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Rich Bayer,
Ph.D., is the CEO of Upper Bay Counseling and Support Services, Inc. and a
practicing psychologist.
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For More Information Contact:
Upper Bay Counseling and Support Services, Inc.
200 Booth Street, Elkton, MD 21921
Tel: 410-996-5104
Toll Free: 877-587-7750
FAX: 410-996-5197
Internet: info@upperbay.org
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