Keeping
New Year’s Resolutions
By Rich Bayer, Ph.D.
With New Year’s Day just around the corner, many of
us are planning our New Year’s resolutions. We’ll promise to change
something in our lives—to break a bad habit or to do something we’ve
been putting off.
We will plan to start exercising, to go on a diet, to
quit smoking or drinking, to finish some project around the house such as
cleaning the basement, or to get along better with someone we love.
But what chance do we have at keeping our
resolutions? Research shows that somewhere between 20% and 46% of American
adults who make New Year’s resolutions are able to keep them.
So if you make a resolution this year, how can you be
successful at keeping it? Here are some proven methods that can help…
Start at the Beginning
When making a New Year’s resolution, we recognize
that we have not been living up to our expectations this year and we
decide to make an improvement in the coming year. There are four parts to
making a resolution:
1)
We reflect on our lives and see a problem. (“I’ve been eating
too many sweets” or “I’m still smoking” or “I haven’t cleaned
that basement yet.”)
2)
We compare ourselves to some standard. (“I’m eating more sweets
than most people.”)
3)
We find that we’re not measuring up to this standard and that
there are consequences we don’t want. (“I’ve been gaining too much
weight.”)
4)
We make a resolution to change. (“I’ll stop eating so many
sweets.”)
Be Specific
In order to succeed with a resolution, we need to
phrase it in the right way. Just making a general statement will not work.
We need to make the resolution specific and base it on something we can
measure in our behavior. (“I want to lose 5 pounds in the next three
months and I’ll do it by cutting out candy snacks between meals.”) If
we resolve to clean the basement, it helps to set a date for completing
the task.
Resolutions also reflect how hard we want to work.
For each resolution we make, we need to make a decision. Do we want to
lose 5 pounds or 15? Do we want to have the basement clean by the end of
February or the end of June?
Also beware of extremes. Resolutions like, “I’m
not going to eat any sweets ever again,” may collapse by the middle of
January, as it may prove too unrealistic. On the other hand, with
addictions for example, expecting the extreme is the only plan that does
work. When we say, “I’m quitting smoking,” we need to stay away from
cigarettes completely. If we have one, usually that brings the addiction
back.
Making a Commitment
In order to keep a resolution, you will need to make
a strong commitment to yourself to stay with it. Your commitment will be
like a solemn vow or promise. Here are four ways to strengthen your
commitment:
1)
Think of the benefits you’ll gain. For example, when planning to
exercise more, make a list of how your new exercise program will help you.
(“I’ll lose weight. I’ll enjoy better health. I’ll reduce my
chances of heart disease. I’ll feel calmer. I’ll have more energy.”)
Keep these benefits in mind all the time. They’ll help to motivate you.
2)
Write your resolution. This can take the form of a contract. (“I
promise to swim laps at the indoor pool for a half hour a day, four days a
week. I will treat this contract as a vow to myself.”) Then date it and
sign it. You can have a witness sign it too if you like. Then post this in
a prominent place.
3)
Read your resolution every day and repeat it to yourself a few
times. Motivational experts recommend that you say it out loud.
4)
Find people who can help. Let family members and friends know about
your resolution. Tell only those who will be supportive. Also you may need
professional help, such as a physical fitness trainer, a counselor to help
with relationship issues or with drug and alcohol addictions, a dietician,
or family doctor. Or you may improve through self-help books.
State What You Need to Do
To make a lasting change, you need a plan. Just
saying, “I’ll quit smoking,” won’t work. Set a goal. Review it
daily. Pick a program. Measure your success. Track your progress.
Your goal could be to quit smoking. Your program
could be the “Stop Smoking Program” sponsored by the Cecil County
Health Department. You can measure your success as each day without a
cigarette and your progress will be the accumulated number of days
you’ve remained a non-smoker.
But it can be hard to break a habit. Sometimes we act
automatically. We eat that donut in the break room before we even realize
we’ve done so. That’s why it helps to focus on action steps. Each day,
plan how you will get through each event. (“This morning, I will not eat
any donuts in the break room.”)
Also, make your plan non-negotiable. If you have
planned to get up a half-hour early, at 6 am, to exercise, you need to pop
out of bed when that alarm rings, no ifs, ands, or buts.
Finally, reward yourself for success. Give yourself
credit for keeping your resolution. And treat yourself for good behavior.
Just remember to choose a safe treat, one that doesn’t break your
resolution.
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Rich Bayer,
Ph.D., is the CEO of Upper Bay Counseling and Support Services, Inc. and a
practicing psychologist.
For More Information Contact:
Upper Bay Counseling and Support Services, Inc.
200 Booth Street, Elkton, MD 21921
Tel: 410-996-5104
Toll Free: 877-587-7750
FAX: 410-996-5197
Internet: info@upperbay.org
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