School Survival Skills for Parents
By Rich Bayer, Ph.D.
With the school year just beginning, both parents and
children have some adjustments to make.
It’s time for children to say so long to the
summertime schedule and hello to the school-day schedule—complete with
classrooms, teachers, homework, and extracurricular activities. And it’s
time for parents to help their children to get organized, get motivated,
and get good grades.
How can parents make a difference? According to Julie
Graham, Licensed Clinical Social Worker at Upper Bay Counseling and mother
of two, “There are four key components to helping a child do well in
school. They are preparation, routine, involvement with school, and
problem solving.”
She offers the following techniques that parents can
use to help their children:
Routine
Keep in mind that children do better with structure.
It helps to set a routine and stick to it. Set a routine for bedtime, for
getting up in the morning, and for homework.
For bedtime, figure out what your child needs to do
to get ready for bed and how long it takes. Make sure the TV goes off
while your child is getting ready. Also it helps to set a wake-up time and
stick to it. Then your child’s nighttime schedule tends to adjust.
A routine can help your child in the morning too.
Have him do the required activities—such as getting washed, getting
dressed, having breakfast, and brushing teeth—in the same order every
day. Have him plan the night before what clothing to wear and what
breakfast to have. A checklist
of things to do, and in what order, can be helpful.
As part of the evening routine, set up a time and
place for your child to do homework. It helps to have a desk or table with
lots of room to spread out papers and books. Also it can be a big help to
your child to have her develop a calendar for scheduled homework
assignments so that she doesn’t miss anything.
Preparation
Getting ready for each school day can be a challenge.
But being organized helps.
Graham recommends setting up as much as possible the
night before. Make lunch the night before, have backpacks ready, and
homework and permission slips ready to go. Also it helps to designate a
place in the house for all items that need to go out the door in the
morning.
You need to remain focused too. To keep yourself
organized, get up 15 minutes prior to your children. That way, you’ll
feel less rushed and better prepared for the morning routine.
Make sure children have the supplies they need for
school. Keep extra supplies in the same place all the time and make them
easy to access.
Involvement with School
“Children benefit from both parents being
involved,” Graham says. “For instance, either parent can attend school
functions, help with homework, or pack lunches.”
It helps to develop a relationship with personnel at
the school. Meet your child’s teacher and establish a working
relationship with her. That way, if the teacher knows of an opportunity
for your child or if there’s a problem, the teacher can let you know
directly. Meet the principal, join the PTO, and volunteer in any way you
can at the school. Also read all the paperwork that the school sends home.
Encourage your child to succeed by making positive
statements about her and her school. Also, be aware that anything negative
you say about a teacher or about the school affects the child and how she
behaves in school.
Each day, talk about school with your child. Don’t
ask general questions like, “How did it go?” Ask specific questions
like, “What did you do in science today?”
Involve your child in school meetings. Ask the
teacher about your child’s progress throughout the year, not just at the
parent-teacher meetings. Also attend and participate in school events.
Your interest in the school helps your child to be involved.
Problem Solving
Sometimes frustrations arise. And sometimes they
interfere with the school day. For example, your child might have problems
picking out the right clothes to wear to school and still be trying to
pick out a shirt when the bus goes by. Instead of fighting over the
clothes with him, develop a strategy on how to deal with the problem.
Involve him in the planning. Ask him how to improve the situation. You
might agree that he’ll pick the clothes the night before. Now you have a
solution so start using that method. But also be ready to change it if it
stops working.
Sometimes a problem arises at school. For example,
your child keeps falling and hurting himself at recess or another child
may be picking on yours. In this case, you need to develop a plan with
your child, the teacher, the school administrator, and the parent of any
other child involved. Let the child know what to do and who to go to if
there’s a problem. Get everybody on the same page. “Develop a time to
reassess your child’s progress with this plan,” says Graham, “and if
problems continue, start looking into other solutions or seeking other
resources.”
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Rich Bayer,
Ph.D., is the CEO of Upper Bay Counseling and Support Services, Inc. and a
practicing psychologist.
For More Information Contact:
Upper Bay Counseling and Support Services, Inc.
200 Booth Street, Elkton, MD 21921
Tel: 410-996-5104
Toll Free: 877-587-7750
FAX: 410-996-5197
Internet: info@upperbay.org
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