Why We Forget
By Rich Bayer, Ph.D.
When is the last time you went into a room for something and once you
got there you wondered, “Now what did I come in here for?” How many
times in the past few months have you “misplaced” your car keys? Do
you ever have trouble remembering the details of some event that happened
just a few days before?
These are all common memory problems. Even in our prime, we experience
some problems with memory, then as we age the problems increase.
There are many types of problems we can have with our memory. In this
column, I’ll discuss three of the most common types.
The Problem of Transience
Transience means short-lived. If you think about it, most memories
don’t stick around too long. For example, we’re more likely to
remember what we had for dinner yesterday, less likely to remember what we
had for dinner a week ago, and less likely yet to remember what we had a
month ago.
We lose memories over time. This is natural.
Also this is the most common form of memory loss. We drop things from
our memory all the time. We meet somebody in line at the grocery store and
make small talk, then a week from now we probably wouldn’t recognize
that person or remember what we said.
Generally, this is a good thing, as we don’t need a memory of
everything that happens.
It becomes a problem however when there’s some detail about our lives
that we’d like to remember but we don’t. The memory may have faded
because it wasn’t used, or it was not connected enough to other memories
to be meaningful to us.
Let’s say you want to remember that person you just met at the store
and some of what was said. First, consider your reason to remember.
Let’s say the person in the store knew your brother in high school. Now
you have a reason to remember her. She knew your brother.
This is important. The more a new “fact” relates to our lives, the
more easily we’ll be able to store it in memory and later recall it.
To store a new fact, it helps to connect it to other memories already
stored. The fact, “she knew my brother in high school,” means you can
store this new memory with memories of your brother in high school. The
more connections you can make, the more strongly the memory will be
stored.
So when storing a new memory, first make all the associations to old
memories that you can. And second, rehearse it. As you’re driving home
from the store, say the person’s name over and over in your mind. Repeat
to yourself the key details of the conversation. That way, when you see
your brother next Tuesday, you can tell him who you met and what she had
to say.
The Problem of Absent-Mindedness
We may forget what we went into a room for, or misplace our car keys,
or not remember to pick up the milk on the way home from work. All of
these are examples of absent-mindedness.
This problem has more to do with attention than memory. To solve
absent-mindedness, we need to be more attentive to the task at hand. If we
put our car keys down at a moment when we’re having an intense
conversation with someone, the memory of putting the keys down may be
disrupted by the memory of the conversation. Then, when we go to find our
keys, we can’t remember where they are because we never really stored
the key location in memory. Even our own, ongoing thoughts can be a
distraction that can disrupt attentiveness and cause absent-mindedness.
The Problem of Blocking
What’s that guy’s name who starred in The Lord of the Rings?
What’s the name of that city that has the space needle? Blocking occurs
when we have a “fact” already in memory but just can’t retrieve it.
We may have it on the tip of our tongue. Sometimes we can “see” the
person in our mind or we can see the place but we just can’t remember
the name.
This is a retrieval problem. We have the information in memory but we
just can’t recall it at the moment. This is most common with names,
especially names of people and places.
One method that helps is to relax the mind. Stop persisting. Stop
trying so hard to think of the name. Often, after a brief period, the name
will pop up.
Another method is to think of all the associations you can for this
person (or place). If you can recall an event where you met the person and
spoke to him or her, you may then make another association that brings
forth the name. This works well if you have the name on the tip of your
tongue or if you remember the first letter of the name. Sometimes it helps
to go through letters of the alphabet to narrow the possibilities.
In a future column, I’ll discuss other problems with memory,
particularly when they go beyond age-appropriate blocking to true
impairment.
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Rich Bayer, Ph.D., is the
CEO of Upper Bay Counseling and Support Services, Inc. and a practicing
psychologist.
# # #
For More Information Contact:
Upper Bay Counseling and Support Services, Inc.
200 Booth Street, Elkton, MD 21921
Tel: 410-996-5104
Toll Free: 877-587-7750
FAX: 410-996-5197
Internet: info@upperbay.org
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